shadymalingerer

So anyways I went to the ‘Joe Nash’s Nik-Naks’ and hated it. The place was just full of junk. And what was worse, they didn’t have a disabled ramp, just stairs. It’s not because I’m disabled, I’m just fat and prefer the slow, steady difficulty of a ramp than the short, sharp climbing of stairs.

The above is an exerpt from a normal blog. What horrid, disgusting shit. Fat Americans should not be allowed to write blogs, they should be chemically castrated, or if they have to write blogs, it would just be a typist taking down their death rattles and/or torture screams. Like so:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHRRHRHRHHRHRHGHGHHHHHHHHGGHGHHGLLLLLLLLGLGLGGHHHHLHLHLHLAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Malingerer’s posts are far more interesting and packed choc-full of glorious win. These posts win more than any posts have ever won. They are the winningest win-worthy wickedy wordfests on the world wide web, because they’re written by a man who’s seen it all, done it all, heard it all before, and watched it all, which is similar to seen it all, but also markedly different if you understand your vocab.

Menny people ask, who is this Shady character? Why does he smell and have no money? Well I hate Menny people, and don’t get me wrong, it’s not because they’re an ancient tribe from the African plains who have long since died out, it’s because they’re black. Nah, just kidding, they didn’t even exist in the first place, and were made-up just for this passage. Convenient, no?

A dream friend (I think ‘imaginary’ is degrading) once asked ‘Why do black comedians (not famous ones, just the shit ones that come on ‘Bad Boys of Comedy’ and ‘Laffapalooza’) make fun of Chinese people so blatantly, and no one complains?’

That’s a good point. Black people think they can get away with all kinds of shit just because they have a history of slavery. They are the only people in American media who mention other races in a derogitory manner without mass condemnation. Except for the Jews, ofcourse, but then they run the media so why not. There are obvious reasons for this:

1. Black People’s Superiority/Inferiority Complex - They’re proud to be black. Why? Nobody says they’re proud to be caucasian, it’s just pathetic. Black people act like they’re on a level playing field with whites and everybody else, but they secretly feel inferior, as if their liberties are merely token, and that they make money and success only how, and to what extent, the rich white elites of this country let them.

Don’t worry black people, you’re not the only ones that have a cursory illusion of freedom and limits to any success you may achieve. Everybody’s in the same boat in this country, it’s just that black and immigrant families have it a little worse off because they’ve had less time to build businesses and own properties through generations. There’s no inferiority in America based on race, it’s just based on those who have money, and those who don’t.

2. White Apologists and Superiority - Whites either feel guilty about their ancestors’ past or comfortable in the subconscious feeling that they can be made to be the butt of jokes, because they’re the ones in real power anyways. It’s the same way women make fun of men on tv/movies/adverts, because secretly - and here’s a surprise for any women viewers - men don’t give a fuck, they know who really runs the world, and guess what vaginaface? It’s not some bitch.

3. Chinese people keeping quiet - People of the Far East in America tend not to care. There’s a good reason for that. They’re happy. The Chinese and Korean communities in the States have amongst the lowest crime and poverty levels. They have excellent educational performances and great career prospects. They have excellent family life, and have married traditional oriental values with modern-day demands far better than other 2nd-generation-plus immigrants. Oriental people are far less reliant on benefits, far more lawful and far more successful than blacks or white southerners. Because of these things, they’re proud (actually proud, not pretending to be whilst hiding their insecurities and guilt) of who they are and don’t give a flying fuck about what others say.

It’s strange that blacks think they have something to wave over people due to the history of slavery. It’s not exclusive to them by any means. Whole villages of Chinese people were brought to America as early as the eighteenth century to labour - essentially as slaves because they were paid peanuts and they weren’t allowed to leave - in mines and fields all over America. Mexicans are today’s slaves, taking whatever scraps are left over from the tables of the other races that make up the huge, hypocritical melting pot that is America.

To summarise:

White people have power - but are generally unhappy.

Black people have immunity in all racial issues - but are generally unhappy.

Asians and Latinos are going about their business without fuss - and are generally much happier.

The less you emphasise racial issues, the less you care about them, the more you can focus on other, more important shit. Like why nobody understands just how good prickly pears taste. Seriously, have you tried them?

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